Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
