Hey man sorry I got all grabby
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I just found a bag of teeth...
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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