We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
God I need to hump something, right now.
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