using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
