yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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