dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
And then the night went full on bisexual.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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