Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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