He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
