Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
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