David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
