Plan B is the new Plan A
I am in a vortex of obligation.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
