marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
