Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
