lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize