Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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