i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
