Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Oh god it's open bar.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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