I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
