That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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