Well apparently he's into motor boating.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
