I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
