id be glad to
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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