hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
