Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
