I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
