Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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