I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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