So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
