I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I know her cup size but not her name....
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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