he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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