I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You are the jesus of drinking
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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