so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
