My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
