Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize