U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
