I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
This baby is an asshole
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
