I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
