ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Will exercising make me less horny?
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