How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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