You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
