hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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