So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
