dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
