Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
honey bunches of taint.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
