no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
