I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
