He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
And then he peed in my hair
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