No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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