we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
