I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
