hotel room ftw
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
where does the pee come out of this thing
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
