no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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