i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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