Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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