I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
