I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
