can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
