16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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